“Why does he have this fetish for doing it doggy-style? He wants to get on me from behind. It’s all he ever wants to do. Why is it such a thing with him?”

ANSWER: A rule of super marital sex is no problem is just with him or with her. It will help if we phrase the question a different way. Why do you find yourselves in conflict over the frequency of one posture? This question raises several mini-questions, such as how you both feel physically and emotionally about the posture and about postures that are not used and how and why this one posture became so frequent. One more thing. A posture is never a fetish, and people don’t “have” fetishes. They behave in various sexual ways that involve a range of stimuli. When one stimulus preference gets in the way of mutual enjoyment, there can be a breakdown in intimate communication. Remember that sexual preferences, even very strong preferences, are not fetishes as long as they do not physically or emotionally harm the partner. When a preference for something becomes a substitute for intimacy, professional help may be necessary on an individual basis first before working on the marital relationship. What you describe is not a perversion. It is a temporary mispositioning within your sexual interaction, not within him or you, that is correctable through open communication.

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