WOMEN’S BODIES: INCEST AND SEXUAL ABUSE IN ADOLESCENCE
Incest means sex between those whom the law forbids to marry because they are too closely related by blood or marriage. The most common forms of incest are believed to be father-daughter and brother-sister, but it’s now coming to light that young boys are more commonly sexually abused by male and female family members than was previously suspected. Incest is illegal. Sex between children or adolescents and other members of the family (uncles, aunts, cousins, stepparents) is generally also considered to be incest.
The amount of incest that goes on ii suspected to be grossly underestimated because the majority of children and adolescents never tell anyone about it. At present it is thought that at least one in four girls under the age of 18 has been sexually abused within the family. Incest knows no boundaries: it happens in every race and social class. Often more than one child in the family is abused.
Perhaps sometimes incest causes no problems for those involved, but if fathers or other family members use their authority to force sexual activity on children or adolescents it is sexual abuse, and means there is something seriously wrong in the family.
Girls who have been incestuously abused live in fear, dread, shame and guilt. Most have been sworn to secrecy, often with threats of violent punishment – or even death – if they tell anyone. Mostly the victims have been told that nobody will believe their stories of sexual abuse, and that their abusers will staunchly deny any accusations. Then there is the fear of what will happen if they are believed. How will their mother and other people react? Will I everyone think that they are ‘bad’; that I they ‘asked for it’; enjoyed the experience; have spiteful or vindictive motives against the man? Will they have to tell all these shameful and humiliating things to the police and then again in court? Will their father be sent to gaol? Will they be taken away from their family?
Mothers often suspect or know what’s going on, but are afraid or powerless to do anything about it and often pretend it’s not happening. They may be hostile and resentful towards daughters who have become sexually attractive to their husband, especially if their own sexual relations with him are unsatisfactory. They fear disgrace for the family if the problem is revealed, and the consequences if the father is tried and gaoled or if the girl is taken into protective custody.
Many adolescent girls escape from incest by running away from home. This rarely improves their lot. Homeless girls are at greater risk of falling into prostitution, crime and drug abuse.
Incest usually has profoundly damaging effects on future sexual relationships. Even in loving partnerships, sexual trust may be difficult to establish: every sexual experience may recall the horrors of incest. So many adult women who seek help with sexual problems admit to incestuous abuse when young. Often their shame is so deep that they’ve never been able to confide this aspect of their problem to their husbands.
If you’ve been sexually abused within your family, you need expert professional help. But where to turn? Fortunately, now that people are more aware of the vast, horrendous problem of incest, the welfare, health and legal systems are trying to do something about it. You must confide in an adult you can trust (and this may have to be someone outside the family, such as a teacher or your doctor) who will help you find a specially trained psychologist or social worker to advise you what to do.
Rape
If you are raped, please tell someone (your parents, doctor or a trusted friend) so that you can be properly counselled and something can be done, if necessary, to prevent pregnancy.
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