THE VIRILITY SOLUTION: THE IMMOVABLE OBJECT
It’s no secret that men don’t visit doctors as often as women. My female patients are up front about their belief in yearly checkups or, as some refer to it, “general maintenance.” If you are a woman whose partner has ED and you want to help him, there are ways to do it. But in order to avoid conflict, the first thing you need to do is be sympathetic—without anger. Point out that your overriding concern is his health, and that your love for him is making you speak. That should get his attention.
Take the time to make a list of the things he does—or doesn’t do —that could potentially be harming his health. Talk to him about these issues, calmly and rationally Discussing one or two at a time will make it more manageable. Remind him that ED is often a symptom of a physical problem or underlying medical condition that might need to be treated.
Anticipate his denials, as well as his defense mechanisms. It’s unlikely that he will agree with you, especially at first. He might very well feel overwhelmed, worried, and upset that you are crossing his personal boundary. But persevere. His health, as well as your relationship, is at stake. And, of course, once he is willing to discuss his problem, your shared problem, then it is time to bring up the fact that he can be helped. But do keep in mind that one conversation is not likely to get him to pick up the phone and make a doctor’s appointment. Both of you have to want help. And for the pills to function optimally, both of you have to want them to work—physically and emotionally.
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